je suis americain ..?

Charles de Gaulle Aeroport, Paris France.. Can you see Djibouti?

So I think I should present this in stages, you know. This has been a hectic past week for me. Not sure of what all I've said so far on the matter, but pretty much arrived on campus with the clothes on my back and some few other articles- don't know what I was thinking- after picking the wrong suitcase to have sent onto Hartford from. To tell you the truth I probably meant to do it in some weird way. You know the drama of roughing it, or being able to say I did this.. or something.. walked however many miles through snow to school as they say. For any lingering Putneyites out there- waking up at 5:30 for AM barn, etc. But back to what I was saying..
whatever I was thinking I don't know..but overall it's been a hard strange week for me coming back to school, on the heels of Djibouti, or rather just on the heels of life. It's life really cutting you close to the heels. It's just life and.. school. You know I hadn't been in school since spring and that was 8 months ago. And it's so nice really, allowing your mind to linger and wander and linger here some more when you're not there. I mean there's no where to go sometimes and nothing to do, but what you make. You could get lost somewhat, just lingering on thoughts and smelling the living around you. This suddenly makes me think of Eiko Otake and her Delicious movement workshops, one of which I went to last night ( and which was coincidentally focused on the idea of being a foreigner). Her dance work is very concentrated on lingering. Lingering is important, I think it is where some of the best things are made. You know, I come up with some of my best ideas through lingering. And some would call it daydreaming, and it is, but I think it is one of the best tools for life. When I am sitting alone or braiding my hair or staring out the window, not even seeing what is there or actually seeing what is there, or some similar seemingly mindless action I am thinking so much inside myself, or being there.. worlds merge, boundaries cross and what seems inside becomes outside and vice versa.. almost similar to the movement qualities of crossing your eyes.. (the movement or visual phenomena, but not the feeling) I love this thinking thing. You know thoughts can be so pleasurable, the imaginative aspect. You are just imagining and lingering and you are in that place, whatever exciting future reality you have created, and you are planning really, and setting forth..
but, I'm lingering here too long..
I was/am convinced I wouldn't let school take me over, or take me away from myself.. pretty mercilessly.. the past week has been me fighting with this concept.. and without going into details and I know I'm being vague, I want to dialogue more about this process of not letting school take you over- or whatever it happens to be- because I know so many students, including myself who've in the process of being educated have been sucked dry..
like are devoid of themselves
and things like creativity
and self direction
that self direction thing is sooooo important
and motion
and that inevitable and indomitable possibility that comes from these things together
.. as much as we love education..
..as much as we love it.. there is a way to be PRESENT and not lost.. or taken over in the process..
hmm..
i will come back to this topic.. perhaps I will hold a workshop or something..
because I really want to talk about these things and share with some people and exchange..
I really like people creating
and creating their worlds..
Really,
but how about a series, eh? We'll do Djibouti in stages..
Kalimah will post film.. and I'll just keep the photo story coming..
and we can make this happen. And you can stop by our house ever so often.. and check it out.