Friday, September 19, 2008

"it seems like the judgement of beauty hinges on choice, which seems
like an illusion created to cope with the unknown. when everything is
known it's understood that nothing has agency and so everything does,
that nothing is beautiful and so everything is, that there is no
difference between art and life that a poem is a paper bag is a peach
is an ant colony, and we can say this now, we can "choose" to suppose
it's true and still not know it but sometimes we can know it and in
those sometimes we always know it and always knew it. and maybe the
goal is to slip into that sometimes/always forever."
-victor vazquez
and i had to really decide to live
12:10 PM like in a way you just get born and go w the situation
so you don't think about choosing to live
but i really had to choose to live and i had to choose to live the way i wanted to

c. james

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Some Things Bear Remember-ing.

This actually makes me think of The Great Debaters.

Revel Rebel

New word I found:

Storytelling modalities..

I've been trying to articulate this for a looong time..
That there are many ways to tell a single story.
That it is not just the medium which is important.
That you don't have to stick to one medium or one way...
and in fact most stories ( and most things really) manifest in many many ways.

That there is a root, a meaning, a connecting factor, an essence persay that might just be invisible but that can be formed into things like dances, or books, or paintings, or travel journeys, or foods, or anything. That root (in this case is a story)

"We took that stuff with us"- My father on the stories and the culture that Yoruba African people "carried" with them over to Brazil.

How do you carry a story across distances?
How do you divide a story. A story is not like a pie. By sharing it it grows and grows.. or stays the same. The power stays the same or grows. Story is potential. Story is like potential energy.

And that the story will not be diminished or lose its power by doing so. It will never lose its power.You can Tell and Find a single story in many many ways and the story will not suffer for it.

I believe there is a root of things. Stories are one of them.

These days I am really trying to articulate myself. And prove to myself what I am talking about, believe to myself so deep the things I am saying, even as or before others can understand. Even as sometimes others might not understand yet.

Sometimes when I tell things to people, or some of my ideas,
they tell me that it is "abstract", that it is not concrete.
Sometimes they tell me that they don't know how this will happen.
(or even if they don't "say" it, I can hear it inside of the other words they say, )

This has happened many times. This has happened a good number of times, really. It starting to be a pattern. And then sometimes I get a little discouraged and maybe sad actually and confused. Lose some of the spark that had me roaring, then I recognize and I get really mad, and then I reaffirm to myself that I know what I am talking about.. then I do something like write something like this.. very passionately.. and sometimes crying almost at the passion that is invoked by remembering the force of what I needed to do so badly, the vision.

So maybe I am not being clear enough.

I am not concrete. I don't work with the concrete.
I work with abstract things. I play with thoughts.
My work is the force our desires and the work our dreams.

I tell stories that grow and grow and grow, that get bigger when you share them, not smaller.
Who can see a story? Who can hold it in their hand?

And through those things, I find the power to make things real or concrete, (which I also love).
I find the power to make real things.

This has been a journey for me from the beginning.
Learning this has been my test from the beginning.
That some people will not see the worlds you see, but you must believe and speak about them anyway.

"I stutter." What this means is.. sometimes I have trouble getting words to come out of my mouth. Sometimes I feel as if I cannot say certain words so I say other words instead.
Sometimes generally words do not come out of my mouth.

My mode of communicating, of making myself seen, heard, understood, or "concrete" has always been different. I used to apologize for this in big and small ways, but I am not doing that anymore.

What this means on a deeper level is that I've always been acutely aware of the things that that are.. but cannot be seen. Words in this instance.

I feel that abstract world as it pushes itself out into the world,
because that has been my journey, of pushing myself out into reality, into the space of the world that "is".

Because there are parts of myself/ ourselves others can't hear.
Does that make those words/world/s
less valid?

And does that make them less possible? Does it make yours less possible?

Whether you decide to believe in yourself or ..
They just can't see your inner vision! You can not defer.
They just may not know. They're busy (hopefully) trying to make their own vision.
We all have so many different ways of understanding the world

Maybe they just won't, but it is up to you to believe in what you're saying. and what you are knowing.
What you are feeling, thinking.
It is up to you to believe in that world that is swirling world inside yourself,
even when you don't know who will listen or understand your story,
or what person will appreciate or believe you.
Even when you don't have the words or know them. To speak.
It is up to you to sing it out.. cry it out.. speak it. You must begin.

You have to try to do it.. you have to try to do it.. and in doing that .. you will gradually begin to see the world you dream of inside, the life ... take form outside.

Say yes.

Found this in wikipedia while looking up Aboriginal lore..
"Songlines are an ancient cultural concept, meme and motif perpetuated through oral lore and singing and other storytelling modalities such as dance and painting." -

Saturday, September 6, 2008

One way ticket

Bet on that one.

Friday, September 5, 2008


I caught up with this through someone at school a couple years ago and watched it I don't know how many times. Love this thing still. Elevation. I think there are a lot of amazing things you can do and makeup in this life. Here's one.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis

I came across this photo just now while looking for something for something else in my computer and was just like AWwW Shucks! Oooh you gotta feel powerful and grateful and great when you see stuff like this.
Geez where did we come from?.. Where/who are we? And importantly,
most excitingly, where do you.?.. Where would you/we like now to go?

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

You know you make me wanna shout, throw my hands up and..ShOUT! WhOOo!

Some GREAT folks have been showing us MAD love.Sophista-Funk, headed up by Jillian White and Tala Bouzarjomeh did a spot on me and The PCF in the past week. Ah.. thanks.. ah love. Keeping us all sophista-funky. They just real cool over there.Holla at emm!

And Jean Pockrus did a spot on The PCF and over at College On The Record.This one right here has her hands in so much. She took me dumpster-diving one time at the end of the semester, err spring 07. Yeah, I did it. Check Jean out here in CosmoGirl doing the dang thang. Leading us all to the Freegan land.. (ha.. i had to laugh to myself on that one).
Many thanks to her for the love.

Monday, September 1, 2008


patagonia, az
Finding this place and the people we met was
an AMAZING experience. These pictures only attempt to do justice to a crazy experience that literally defies explanation. To what was honestly one of the most amazing experiences I've ever encountered.
First time seeing a full double rainbow. That and some other type stuff. We're grateful to have met some amazing people on some real adventure novel/fantasy type status. Following the journey..

Setting out into the world with a passion and a plan and getting somewhere, life itself,
lining up for you.

I. figures.