there need not be a general consensus about dreaming. there shall be ups and downs. there shall be contrast. there shall be no perfection, but dots and dapples. there shall be multiple voices and this is mine,- that i acknowledge and shout out! and we shall all speak for ourselves. we shall all speak for ourselves. this journey is a part of my journey. this journey is a part of my journey. i claim that too. we all have journeys. and we can all speak them. we all have flights and sometimes they are on trains and bikes and sometimes they are up streams and steps you know, sometimes they are through grass. and as I am lifting this thing, as I am placing it upon the air this is me you know, this is me, i am taking. I welcome voice and voices. I hope that along the process people will speak to me and allow me to carry some measure of their story, that they will entrust some true part of their stories and their dreams to carry on the journey.. to carry warm along the journey to be felt, to be shared, to speak of dreaming, that warm living dreaming. Not taker, but repository, safe passage, a thread of the weaving to set against the colors of meanings meeting tapestry. I have been writing people, calling people, writing e-mails to people I know and people I would like to- been explaining, explicating, extracting, protracting the lessons i am learning of flight and hope to learn and share.. but at the start and the end of the day this is only about people and what they feel they must do.. about the self that resides before residency other places.. in words even.. in pamphlets.. in mission statements, on flyers, in newsletters, in proposals and descriptions. This is only about that thing inside people, whatever you want to call it and i keep saying the word dream and maybe that word has been used so much.. so i will attempt to define the word dream as I now know it

A dream is:

a thing that resides maybe in the mind or the heart, not as they are strictly defined but in that place that you know without definition, of invisibility and feeling. and freedom

A dream is;

A waking and a sleeping thing. You can see it with eyes closed and even when they are open at looking at other things.
(On a tangent these days my waking and sleeping dreams are increasingly merging. I have very vivid dreams usually.. but my sleeping dreams are about my waking dreams)

A waking dream is the thing that you may want.. the desire of a thing .
Even if you don\'t precisely know how to define it yet there is the feeling of it, pulsing presence. And you may think about things that are connected to it until you figure it out. baby steps, tiny lilting steps, all steps are tiny maybe, cumulative. Maybe that is daydreaming. I have experienced at times the want of something I didn\'t precisely understand.. but when you figure it what you do want sometimes you cannot stop thinking about it. You see it everywhere. The world is helping you find it. Or at least that is how I am figuring it out to be.

A waking dream is what you want... and the imaginings that happen in relation to it...a friggin hot air balloon getting air, getting hotter.. something you want a whole friggin lot.. even as you can be calm about it. sometimes other things can seem to stand in for the thing you want.. but they are not it.. keep sifting for that thing ... and connecting dots to find its figure.

A sleeping dream.. is someting else. but as I said in my case these things seem to be merging.. I\'m dreaming about the things I\'m thinking about during the day, but in weird ways.

I had a whole other direction when I started out this.. but actually its not necessary to have your dream all the way figured out.. i mean you don\'t have to hound dog it.. if you are following things you like you will eventually get there.. if you are just following the trail of things you like even if they are little things you think you\'ll eventually find it i think...
-on another tangent i should probably take this kind of advice myself-

as the dream gets bigger.. as it makes its winding way from the place inside you *your own place of inventions and invisibility, the palpable dreamworld*, it may appear to take on an increasingly more physical format. It may appear to take on some \"physical rules of existence.
Maybe that if you drop it it will break, that you must hold it tight.
but don\'t be fooled. Remember where it was born, a place no one could see, where you could not touch it with your hand.
And if your dream is to move anywhere you must remember what it really is. If it is to continue to have a breath of life it must have a prevailing belief.
Change is inevitable and constant.

You may start to believe you must keep it alive, that you must feed it, fend for it, that you must sell yourself to to the world that is, that may be to make the dream happen.. if such is the thought the dream can become cumbersome. But don\'t be fooled... don\'t be fooled. it is magic and imagination and what separates one moment from the next, and what separates existence from nonexistence can be a second, can be a jump, can be a song, or the stranger sitting beside you who says one word that sparks that thought that sets you running. There are spaces in this world, I believe, where you can move faster than you ever thought you could move, you a re not pedaling touching all mailboxes, but flying in thought and motion- not unlike those moments in a videogame where sonic the hedgehog or mario or strawberry shortcake snags thta berry and is moving .. but its not even about the berry i mean, it just happens.

at the core a dream does not need to abide by rules of reality. That is what I\'m saying. You don\'t need to call everyone in the phonebook, you can skip things.. if you are listening in ... and i want to say magic here.. and maybe some will think i am crazy. but there is definitely a space of belief you must jump over.. there is a space of belief you;ve got to jump over.. thats real.. there is a space of believe you must see with your eyes open and closed and when you see that place, you\'ll be able to act in ways you did not think possible, only because you thought you could.

Honestly,. on the real honestly these last couple of weeks have been of heck of interesting, challenging actually.. not precisely always knowing where to go or what precisely to do.. knocking on doors (metaphorically), dialing numbers, searching about the world, planning typographically, categorically, wanting to set myself up and all this in a tidy manner, (this is the first thing and this here, this is the second thing I should do, and this is .. umm the third thing, and where do I go next and this is the next person, and lets be nice in this email) and that can become so boring and just losing the force behind it. These past two weeks have been interesting as in the attempt to really propagate the project, I haven\'t had gobbles and gobbles of fun. And thats all the physical format and that changes from moment to moment. Dreamworks. dreamworks.. Some of the planning I\'ve been doing just hasn\'t had the same feeling as the dream or the vision or howsoever one should like to call it. Particularly in calling people or attempting to explain what I see in my head. How do you navigate that tract? That\'s what I\'ve been learning these past two weeks. I have to go back to the beginning you know. I\'m going back to the beginning. more on that next.. i am coming back to that place where i first new it, where it first hit me rolling and i was slack of breath and moving like the tumble weed, backtracking fastracking, beatracking.
I am sharing this process with you. I am sharing this prrocess with you. I will share this process with you.. because I feel that is right and that is the goal of what I am doing, explicating not only the story or the ending, the happy conclusion, but the journey there, the journey of talking about journey, the dream of talking about and sharing and being about and living about and creating and shaking, and cracking, and smelting and molding and heating and beating the path about dreams. Beating the path! Beating it! hard like your dirty old rug, and the dust is gonna rise up. I\'m going to be honest about everything.

ok later later
love,

intisar
and creation